3 Remarks Your Skinny Friends Are Tired of Hearing
Body image is a touchy subject for everyone. Yes, I said it, everyone. It’s not every day someone wakes up with overflowing confidence in how they look. It’s also not fair to assume someone should be confident in themselves just because the media says they should be confident.
In this new age of Instamodels and influencers, we consume a lot of content that tells us what we should look like, given our body size. And here might be the shocking twist to some of you, skinny people are affected too.
Here are three remarks your skinny friends might be tired of hearing:
Do you even eat?
No, I eat air for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Of course, I eat!
When people make insensitive remarks like this, it sheds light on their ignorance around body image, eating disorders, and you as a person.
One common misconception about skinny people is we all have eating disorders.
Growing up, peers and teachers accused me of being anorexic. I was a picky eater, but being a picky eater is not the same as having anorexia. It was awkward learning about body image in health class, and having everyone look at me like I was a monster. Without a doubt, I was seriously offended by their accusations and their treatment towards me. However, I was more concerned about how little they understood about eating disorders and how they mistreated individuals with eating disorders.
Not only did my teachers not take the opportunity to correct the behaviors of my peers and directly speak to me if they were concerned about my eating habits. My teachers externalized the same behavior they were teaching against, underestimating the severity of eating disorders and undervaluing individuals with eating disorders.
One myth about people with eating disorders is their vain. Vanity isn’t the cause of eating disorders, and if that’s the motive for mistreating someone with an eating disorder, then my dear reader, you are incredibly misinformed. Eating disorders can be a result of depression, anxiety, self-esteem, trauma, and the list can go on. It can affect all genders, ages, races, etc. It’s not something you can “get over,” and it’s not an “adolescent phase.”
This remark is also dangerous to someone who has body image issues around their skinniness and may be dealing with an eating disorder like binge-eating. It’s a statement that assumes an individual isn’t eating enough to gain a substantial amount of weight. Therefore, it might provoke an individual to binge eat. Binge-eating disorder is when an individual overeats excessively, and it may even seem uncontrollable.
It’s imperative to be aware of the language you use, because it may provoke a preexisting issue. If you have a friend dealing with body image issues or an eating disorder, do some research about the appropriate ways to communicate to them about the topic and ask a medical professional questions to clarify your understanding.
It must be nice to have everything fit you.
Being skinny doesn’t mean one skinny size fits all.
Some people have thicker thighs, bigger hips, bigger busts, broader shoulders, bigger belly pouches, or are taller or shorter than the “standard.” Remember, clothing sizes follow ad hoc sizing systems. Theses systems are highly dependent on the region that manufactures the clothing, and a set of general standards within the region determines the sizes used in the system. In no way is it a true reflection of all small-framed or large-framed people; in short, it’s a generalization. Every person’s body proportion is different. So finding clothing as a skinny person can still be challenging.
Don’t be fooled by the models walking down the runway. If I could afford alterations for every article of clothing, I’m sure my clothes would fit well all the time too.
It’s an ignorant assumption to believe that just because size 00 is for smaller-framed people, size 00 will fit all smaller-framed people.
Yeah, but heavier people are body shamed more.
PSA: Dismissing someone and comparing them to other people who are body shamed, doesn’t help body-shaming and doesn’t help someone with body image issues.
It’s another ignorant remark that shed’s light on how little society understands body image issues. Body-shaming is wrong no matter if you’re skinny, thick, small or tall.
It’s not a competition on which group of people are body-shamed more, nor should it be. Furthermore, shifting the paradigm to shame the opposing group of people doesn’t solve the overarching issue. The problem we’re all trying to address is the lack of representation and the misconceptions around body images.
Without a doubt, thicker people have gotten the grunt of the pain our society perpetuated, and it’s horrible they’ve been shamed and excluded for so long. However, that doesn’t mean we should dismiss the other people who suffer body image issues in light of society’s standards.
Never assume someone has it easier just because they’re skinny. Dismissing people who are dealing with body image issues can be detrimental to that person’s mental health.
If we wish to make a difference and represent all shapes, sizes, and colors, we must acknowledge all the narratives within our communities, and show each narrative compassion, empathy, and attentiveness. This isn’t to misdirect focus on larger individuals and their struggles, but let’s not spread hate in our attempt to fix our mistakes.
Please don’t assume the grass is greener on the other side because chances are it’s not. The media might say it’s greener, but can we trust the media to provide us with the whole truth?
Not really.
So, listen to your skinny friends, and treat them with kindness. They’re fighting their own battles too.
